Lately...

Thinking of ....huh?

Thinking of....huh?

Thinking of....huh?



What??

What??

Hmm........

Hmmm....



I want to be there....I always wanted to be there...for you

That is what i want....what I had always wanted to do...

I must get there....someday...I told myself....
Maybe we're just busy....reaching for our goal...
But once we reach our goal...We will be like last time again...
That's what we said....

And I really hope that the day....that day...will come soon....

Dedicated to: Dear Friends... You are not forgotten....

Friendship....

Again....

I'm back to this title for 3 times.....

3 times....this title appear on my blog....

why??

because it's important to me....

but i guess not to you....

what people say is more important....



I tried to let you know....

I am the way i am....u know me....

please accept me the way i am....

i care for you....

think of you...

have you ever??

i guess i'm just so stupid....

for me...u are friend....

maybe for you...i'm just nothing...



U will only think of how others think of me....

and u will be on their sides...

You forget what i used to tell you....

i told you that not all friends are friends...

only certain people are considered friends....

u r one of one of them....but

u destroyed it....crashed it....

because you don't need me anymore...

because you have great friends

who don't think of you when it comes to your favourite....

Anything i do...

If it's have something related to u...

i will think of u.....
and sometimes even laugh to myself in the middle of no where
like a silly person....

how bout u??

i guess u won't think of me when saw things related to me...

just think of using me??

because i'm no longer helpful....

no longer valuable and usefull....

u walk to the others....

and will only walk to me

when u r feeling bored or needed help...



I'm thinking too much...yah....i guess i am....

i have time...but do nothing...

only thinking of our friendship....

yah...so stupid....waste of time....

i can use my time to study instead....

but why i keep letting myself being bug by this stupid friendship??

why want to force things??

don't accept me the way i am??

then there it will be...

live with it.....

i'm living with it...



Without me....it's the end of miserable life huh...

Good for you...leaving me....

FxxKxxG Roommate...

Still remember when I FIRST stepped in here...I was happy...but also sad...
Happy because I'm finally here...where everybody who cares about me want me to be...
Sad...because I know that I will need to face bxxches again...
No matter where I go...I will always meet people who is SO SO SELFISH...sigh...
And people who is good...and trustable...are becoming so so so...few...
And here...I would like to share something about me and my X-Roommate...
At first.....I would like to introduce to you what kind of person she is...

She is a person who is SO SO SO STUBBORN...
As I will list down all her actions and behaviour...
You will know why I said so...
Seriously....VERY EXTREMELY STUBBORN...like a COW...
All this stories....I've been only experienced it for 2 months...
Imagine....you can say so much about someone in 2 months time...
Then you really can imagine how "Good" this person can be...

Well...it all started with every night...or I should say every morning...Okay...EVERYDAY...
This girl...she will say "I mush wash ALL my clothes before I sleep" =.="
*she always washes her clothes with all her strength
till her clothes are thinning until become like a piece of tissue paper...=.=
She also will ALWAYS say "I must DRINK MILO before I sleep" =.=
*I really have no idea where she learn that from....but for sure...
she really got problem...."psycho" =.=
And you have to understand...the time that she washed her clothes and drink MILO will always be after 12am...maybe 1 or 2 am....=.= sigh...
*Come on la...If you are tired...Just get your ASS to your bed...AND SLEEP...
She will always complained to me "I'm so tired"....
WTF...YOU are the one who make yourself so miserable...
OK...can imagine what kind of person she is?
OK...now...the next story about her...
OMG...I really Xleh tahan this kind of people...=.=
She is SO SO SO CHICKEN and SO SO SO EXTREMELY WEIRD....
*This annoyed me for 2 months...
Do you sleep with your lights on? If you do...please stop doing that....
Because you will have higher risk of getting "BREAST CANCER"
And If you can't stop doing that...I pity your future husband or wife...
*Because you're such a "burden"...
Well...it's so obvious that I meant that she is a person who sleeps with the lights on =.=
Sigh...Who knows that if one day she will get breast cancer...God Bless...
And at the first few nights sharing same room with her...
I realized that she have such HEAVY footsteps...=.=
I wonder if she did it on purpose...
I also realized that I will automatically wake up at 3am because of the light...
And if you don't mind...you can GOOGLE about it...
You will know why we sleep at night
and why you wake up in the morning when THERE"S SUNLIGHT...
Same goes to me...because my brain interpreted that such light is sunlight...
Why I will automatically wake up at 3am...
is actually because my brain insists that it is "SUNLIGHT"
Though I'm only asleep for awhile....=.=
Then...it will be so hard for me to go back to sleep...SIGH

The 2nd week....her wall light spoilt...HALLELUJAH ^^
I was so happy....GOD BLESS ME...muahaha...and I did not offer her my wall light...
because there's FREAKING BRIGHT light from outside the room...
Sigh...then...the next week...she told me that she want to bring her table lamp...=.=
Why you SO SO SO FREAKING CHICKEN? You eat too many CHICKEN is it? SIGH....
The only time that you won't see light is when the sky is dark
and you're on you're bed....preparing for bed...
But in her world...There's NO DARKNESS...SO FREAKING HOLY right?
Sigh...I have to tolerant...
and here it is...the table lamp...



Can you imagine how bad I look? My panda eyes @.@
SLEEP like DID NOT SLEEP AT ALL...
My life was so miserable because of her...
JUST because of a lousy roommate....made my days so restless...
And just before I go to the next story about her...
There's a story about this lamp...

At the very first when she took this lamp out of the box...
I HAVE NO COMMENT...ABSOLUTELY NO COMMENT...
Because I know this lamp is bright...but it only focus to one direction...

Who knows....this FREAKING WEIRD girl place her lamp FACING ME...WTF....
TUttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt....
What the...OMG...Is she OK? I really want to ask if she's retarded...
She really leve it FACING ME?WTF....
Is she INSANE? Who is the one WHO WANTS THE Fuxxing light SO DAxx MUCH....
NOT ME...NOT ME....DEFINITELY NOT ME...F her...
She's REALLY SO SO SO SELFISH....
Why the hell you go place your fucking lamp FACING me?
YOU are the one who want sthe light NOT ME...
The nes=xt mroning...I can't stop myself...
So I told her "Can you PLEASE turn away your LAMP?
It's FACING ME...I CAN'T SLEEP..."
Daxx FREAKING ENTERTAINING answer..."ORH"
WHAT THE FxxK...DAxx Fu Him...
Walao...don't so OVER...I'm not a holy person...My patience have limits...
FREAKING UNBELIEVABLE got this kind of human EXISTS on EARTH...
I Xleh tahan her...with her FucKing Fu Him answer...
And SHE DID NOTHING...As If I've never told her anything...
So...I turn the fucking lamp away FACING HER...her own FucKing heaven territory...

OK...Here comes another story...
Her schedule...
Monday 12pm class...
Tuesday till Friday 10am class...If I'm not mistaken...
My schedule...
Monday and Wednesday starts 8am...
Tuesday 12pm and Thursday 5pm
Which means there's only 2days which actually I can rest more...but T.T
Her FREAKING ALARMSSSSSS....
Her HP TWICE...and her FREAKING ALARM CLOCK....
Try guess what time...
Well...I would like to emphasize on my condition....
I look like a zombie walking around in college...
and whenever I met a friend...
they will ask...ARE YOU OK?OU SICK IS IT? =.=
I really want to cry T_______T
What do you think? With this kind of FREAKING ''GOOD'' ROOMMATE...
How healthy you can be?
I will be so speechless every time when a person ask me if I'm Okay...
As you can see...I already have problem having a good sleep...
and here comes the FREAKING ALARM...WTF....tuutttttttt....
Still guessing her alarm time?
Well...her alarm will always rang at 7.30am...
Guess what time she will awake...
8.30am =.=
What the...What is the PURPOSE of YOUR ALARM?
To wake YOU up? Or to wake ME up?
I wonder if she did it on purpose...or she did not meant it...
However...I DID mentioned about it many times FACE to FACE...
"Can you PLEASE don't wake me up?"
even many times in front of other people I said the same thing to her....
AGAIN...Fucking FU HIM(entertaining) answer..."ORH"...WTF...
I really want to burst dy...EXPLODE...
I'm NOT A GOD....I have FUCKING LIMITED PATIENCE...
The ONLY day that I can sleep or I should say REST
is on Tuesday and Thursday ONLY...
Is that so hard to just let me rest? YES...It is...for her I guess... =.=''
With her FUCKING HEAVY FOOTSTEPS like ELEPHANT...
With people so STUBBORN...CHICKEN....and SELFISH....
and with DAMN ENTERTAINING ANSWERS....
KEEP PUSHING ME....I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!
Here comes the BOMB....tick tock tick tock....BOOOOOMBBB....
So SO SO MELAMPAU...She really keep pushing me...
Maybe she thinkmthat she can bully me because I keep tolerant....
But SORRY....I'm not so ANGELIC...
I HATE people who think thst I'm NOTHING...
and people who only CONSIDER ABOUT themself....
And DON'T KEEP THEIR OWN WORDS....

Finally...she broke her PROMISE...
She said that she will use her FREAKING TABLE LAMP...
but she did not...Instead she use the WALL light again...
For 3 CONSECUTIVE days...She did not switch OFF the WALL LIGHT...
SHE DID NOT USE HER FREAKING TABLE LAMP....ARGH!!!
THAT'S IT!!!I have ENOUGH!!!YOU BITCH!!!

You keep getting on my nerves...
And So...I left her a note...
"DON'T BLAME ME IF I DON'T TOLERANT WITH YOU ANYMORE,
SWITCH OFF YOUR LIGHT BEFORE YOU SLEEP...
OR ELSE I WON;T GIVE FACE ANYMORE...."
Don't bully me...If I tolerant means I give face...
BUT DON'T EVER TAKE ADVANTAGE ON IT....
because my patience have limitation...
and However...I get replied..."Sorry....because i TERTIDUR...I was too tired..."
Fuck You LA!!!EXCUSE....
You were sleeping on your bed...
If you TERTIDUR...
I should saw YOU TERTIDUR sitting on the chair...
BUT YOU ARE AT YOUR FREAKING BED...
Fine....so again...I tolerant...
Hoping that things will get better....
Hope that she won't keep pushing anymore...
ENOUGH OF HER IGNORANCE...
ENOUGH of her ELEPHANT FOOTSTEPS...
ENOUGH of her CLOTHES always hung in the room and remain unkept....
ENOUGH of late night sleeps because of her...
ENOUGH of INSUFFICIENT REST because of her....
And finally...I warn her one last time...Don't wake me up...
Come on la...YOU DON'T HAVE BRAIN IS IT?
RETARDED IS IT? USE YOUR BIG BRAIN and think of it yourself la....
STILL BABY? Wan MOMMY TO BREAST FEED YOU IS IT?

Just CHANGE YOUR FREAKING ALARM then can already...
I REALLY CAN'T STAND HER ALARM ANYMORE...
After SO MANY FREAKING TIME asking for HER FAVOR....
I GIVE UP....knowing this kind of human will not know the way of tolerant...
Only want others to tolerant and won;t tolerant with others...
I'm FREAKING ENOUGH of TOLERANT with YOU....
Finally...one day...HER ALARM rang at 7.30am....
SEE CAREFULLY....7.30am....
but SHE WOKE UP at 9am...WTF...This NEVER GROW UP child...
Is she REALLY RETARDED?
I really Xleh tahan already....
Finally...I sent her a message....
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE 7.30AM ALARM...
YOUR ALARM is not to wake YOU up...BUT to wake ME up...
IF I HEAR anymore 7.30am ALARM...I will pour you with a pail of water
and THROW AWAY your alarm clock..."
And when she get this message...she cried...That's what others told me...=.=

I HATE people use TEARS to get OTHERS people ATTENTION and SUPPORT...
You know how to cry....YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CRY? tuttt....
I might be rude...But I was only being FRANK....
NO PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD CAN TOLERANT YOU...
UNLESS He@She is the same type of person like YOU....

This is the first time....first time I used so many foul language in my blog....
Really can't believe that I'm so pissed off with this girl....
Maybe because this incident spoilt my image....
Somehow...I hope....those who read this can understand my feelings....

When you both already agreed on something....
You thought things will be ok if you keep quiet...
But things become worse....because people KEEP PUSHING YOU...
I really hope there's people who will understand....

Have You EveR?

Yes..I have...
Have what?
Have you ever experience the feeling of going to die soon...
Yes...I experienced the feeling of going to die soon...

I used to have a big lump at the part below my shoulder...
I thought that I might have breast cancer...
It was pain...and I was really worry...
I keep it to myself...not telling anyone about it...
including the person closest to me, my mother and boyfriend...
I cried by myself...

Then I think to myself...this cannot be...
I'm still young and I haven't repay my parents
for they have take care of me since young...
I also want to take care of them...
I will feel very sad everytime when thinking that my time is coming to an end...

Then I decide too tell my mom...
and expected that she will say I think too much...
And so...I told her...and same as what I've expected...
but this time she touch the lump too...
It's hard...and she's worry too...
Then things go the other way...
Instead of hoping her to comfort me...
I comforted her, telling
"maybe I really think too much...it is no big"

As usual..I go out dating with my boyfriend...
Our relationship just started few months ago...
but our relationship settle down quite fast
because we're committed to each other...
Everytime I met him...
I just give him a smile...
And when I'm in his arm...
I really have no idea of what to do...
I was really sad when I know that I might leave first...
He is so lovely and caring....
I really almost wanted to cry when I spend my time with him...

When reach home...I made a wish that the lump will soon go away...
And not long after I made that wish...the lump is gone...
I know I might have that lump again...but I was relieved...
And in my heart...there's 3 words that
I want to tell my family and my dearest boyfriend...
I love you all...and I know people will grow old...sick...and die...
No one will live forever....and
All I hope is I can spend as much time as I can with you all...
Please do take good care of yourself if one day I'm reli not around...

And to all my dearest friend...Thanks guys...
You guys really helped me alot...
From the top of my life I fell to the bottom of my life...
and you guys get my feet back on the ground
standing stronger than before...Thanks dear all...
I really appreciate our friendships...
Please do take care of yourself too...

What's new ??

Lately...i was busy with trials...
din online for few weeks dy.....

Selvan took off to Canada already....
Wonder how is he doing there....
Can he get use with the altitude there??
It's kind of getting cold at his place...
Hope he wun catch a cold there...
coz nobody can take care of him there....
He's on his own....=(

I really hope that he will always stay strong like he always does...
I know it's not easy to be out there alone....
but i really hope when he feels lonely...
he will think of me and Kerryn....
Think of all the times we had together ^^
and laugh....hehe

Hope....he will stay healthy....
and don't forget about me....

Really hope he can come back Malaysia soon....

-sTuPiD CuPiD-

I'm VeRy FiNe....^ ^

I may look exhausted....
I may seem sad....
I may be weak at times.....
but for sure....
I am very fine....^^

I am happy nowadays....really very happy....
Really feel much better than i ever felt....^^

What i want to do....
is to achieve my aims....^^
with no worries....^^

I can do it....
U too can do it ^^
We can do it ^^

Together....we try our best.....achieve our aims.... ^^

-sTuPiD CuPiD-

''The Summary''

I guess a lot of people is wondering....
and has been asking how....
this two human being don't have any connection...
no similarities...no chance to even talk....
barely even meet each other...
one is a quiet person...
while the other one is one of the busiest girl in school??
how come the both of them can get together??
and just when it happened??
.....and HOW ??
how this and how that...?? hehehe ^^

Well...
haha ^^

What i really want to say is...

THANK YOU ^^
to my Dear...and also
to his friends...especially hamyu ^^
who always helped me
when i needed a helping hand the most^^
i won't forget u guys after having a bf...^^
and the most important of all....
thanks to my Dearest Dear again...hehe ^^

this nice and silly guy...
he accepted all her flaws...
and also promised to spoil her...
and even treat her like a princess....
isn't he sweet?? ^^
i'm so lucky that i've found this guy...^^

Hmm...to some of u who is curious...
I came up with a summary... haha ^^

and here it is

'the summary'...^^

She was a girl who don't believe in relationships...
She was a girl who erm...dislikes guys....^^
because she thinks that guys are
playboys...and irresponsible...
and the worse of all....she thinks that
guys who already have gf
will still flirt around with other girls...

Well...this girl...she don't really think that
any guy will worth her time...
her effort...
and her feelings anymore...
but one day....
after 8 months studying Form 6 in SABS...
she suddenly noticed the existence of this special person...
a nice person...who has exactly, the same phobia...=T
who is very quiet...who is not a playboy...^^
and then....slowly....
she started to know this guy more and more... ^^


And here she is...together with that Mr. Nice Guy ^^
With 6 things on the "List To Do" ....^^
Hehe...what 6 things to do?? ^^
It's secret between the both of US.... ^^

Accept you the way you are...
Love you the way you are...^^