Have You EveR?

Yes..I have...
Have what?
Have you ever experience the feeling of going to die soon...
Yes...I experienced the feeling of going to die soon...

I used to have a big lump at the part below my shoulder...
I thought that I might have breast cancer...
It was pain...and I was really worry...
I keep it to myself...not telling anyone about it...
including the person closest to me, my mother and boyfriend...
I cried by myself...

Then I think to myself...this cannot be...
I'm still young and I haven't repay my parents
for they have take care of me since young...
I also want to take care of them...
I will feel very sad everytime when thinking that my time is coming to an end...

Then I decide too tell my mom...
and expected that she will say I think too much...
And so...I told her...and same as what I've expected...
but this time she touch the lump too...
It's hard...and she's worry too...
Then things go the other way...
Instead of hoping her to comfort me...
I comforted her, telling
"maybe I really think too much...it is no big"

As usual..I go out dating with my boyfriend...
Our relationship just started few months ago...
but our relationship settle down quite fast
because we're committed to each other...
Everytime I met him...
I just give him a smile...
And when I'm in his arm...
I really have no idea of what to do...
I was really sad when I know that I might leave first...
He is so lovely and caring....
I really almost wanted to cry when I spend my time with him...

When reach home...I made a wish that the lump will soon go away...
And not long after I made that wish...the lump is gone...
I know I might have that lump again...but I was relieved...
And in my heart...there's 3 words that
I want to tell my family and my dearest boyfriend...
I love you all...and I know people will grow old...sick...and die...
No one will live forever....and
All I hope is I can spend as much time as I can with you all...
Please do take good care of yourself if one day I'm reli not around...

And to all my dearest friend...Thanks guys...
You guys really helped me alot...
From the top of my life I fell to the bottom of my life...
and you guys get my feet back on the ground
standing stronger than before...Thanks dear all...
I really appreciate our friendships...
Please do take care of yourself too...