^-^ Love it....Love him...

Toto and Maru ^-^

Eating 'mom mom'

Sleeping ZzzZzz

Cleaning 'xi shua shua'

Playing ^-^

Aww...They are SooooOOOooo Cute..^^

This two hamsters belongs to my eldest sister, Carmen...

I really like her hamsters...

Well...they r cute, lovely...

And best of all...

They are harmless...

Back in Standard 3....1999

I had a hamster...

named Fei Zai..hehe

It's very cute..has greyish white hair

and kinda plump...

Very lazy...

Dislikes exercise...

but loves to sleep...

and I love it the way it is...^^

When i have no one to talk with...

I will talk to it...

I will play with it...

I'll let it run around my room...

Looking at it...calms me down...

& Makes me happy ^-^

Really very sad when i lose it...

My only companion...

The only one who will listen to me when I'm sad...

Well...pity him...

He was forced to listened to whatever I said

because he can't say 'no'...hehe

Miss it so much....

Want to buy myself a new companion...

but if it die...

I can't take that anymore...

First Try...^-^

Finding for the one that i like...
The complexion...
The size...and the most important one...
The feel of course....

First Touch....
It was very hard...and kind of heavy...
Placing finges in the correct place...
The correct position of doing it...
Wow...It was so fun...

Belum cuba...
Belum tahu...
Cuba sekali...
Mahu lagi... ^-^

It's BowLinG...haha
I went with Goh and Khoo...
That was my Very First Time playing BowLing...
Kinda bad...but nvrm...
I will try to do better in future...


Jadi mestilah cuba baru tahu...^-^
Hehe...


-sTuPiD-
^-^

3D-The darkest deep down...

How helpless i was....
standing there can't do anything...

Everybody must have the thought of
"padan muka" on that time...
Ya right...Indeed...
Just want to do something for friend....
Want them to spend their special day
LIKE a special day
INSTEAD of passing the special day
just like a NORMAL day...
I guess all people know
the feelings of celebrating special day ALONE...
I felt it much...Don't want anybody to be like me....

Still remember in form 4 and form 5...
I was a disaster...
Still remember i'm always
the target when it comes to discipline...

Knowing that Form 6 is a chance
for me to have a new beginning...
I've changed myself...

Become a lil different from what i was...

Not the best...
but at least better than the "ponteng school" girl rite??
Now...I am the "ponteng class"girl...
Next time...I maybe won't have any nick name anymore...
but time are not given...
I must be like this, this, this and that now...

Now....at this moment
Now....at this hour
Now...at this second
I'm just a human being...
To let go of someone...
it took me few years...
Now...to really change myself...
Do u think i can do it in a second??

Afraid that I will lose myself again like last time...

Trying my best to keep myself the way i am now...
Tired...and wanted to give up...
but still holding on bcoz i really want to have a better life...
Really don't want to be who i was...
It was the worst nightmare ...
Does anybody understand??
Not only people around me...
Even me,myself...
Wanted to change too...desperately...

Ker...I miss you...
At least u can lend me ur shoulders when i wanted to cry...
Can't wait for u to come back...
I can't stand back-stabbed and being embarrase anymore....

-sTuPiD-
feeling even worse day by day....
hope that time can pass even faster...
want to get out of there asap....
don't want to go there anymore...T.T

Where is The Promised of Happiness??

Shuo Hao De Xing Fu Ne???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1iRWjx6LFM

From this song...

It reminds me of something...

Something that was very important to me...

No 1 in my life....
My priority...
My everything...

Where'd you go??

I always ask myself....

Where'd you been??

I always wonder....

Where is our Love??

Where is it?

Where has it gone to??

Where r u??
Where you've gone??

Now I know...

You are gone....

to Heaven...

Once, someone left you and

went to a place that is very very far away...

beyond a place where you and me can reach....

that U couldn't hear me calling u anymore....

the place named Heaven...

So I guess...

There it is...My Love...in the Heaven...

Thanks To God...

I finally found New Loves....

that is not the special one...but

it's friends....and very close ones....

They're there when i'm lost...

Finding for u...

They're there supporting me...

When i'm lonely...

When i needed u...the most
They're there....

The Past....It's was A Part of Me...

It was a part of me where u were there for me...

but it will not be A Part of Me anymore...
it will not be A Part of My Future...

Those promises that we've made....

I will keep them in me forever....

and it is burried in me forever....

still it is deep down...i didn't forget them...

it's in a place deep down in me...

I call it the grave....

So that's it....

The end of our Promises....

Deep Down In Heart

Good Bye

-sTuPiD CuPiD-

Friendship...

This accident gave me nightmares for the rest of my life...

A friend of mine asked me this question...
"Do you think that friendship is fragile?"

My answer is "Yes, friendship is fragile"...
Why would i said so??
It's simple...
because i've gain a lot of experience...
A lot of so called "Friends" of mine turned their back on me...
They are no longer in my life anymore...
but what happened last time is that
when they don't need me...they will just act like
they didn't saw me even when walking pass beside me...
but when they need somebody...
they will realise that i'm the only one who is there for them...
because their so called "Friends" dumped them and back stabbed them...
Isn't this funny??

Some of my friends asked me...
Why am I so good?....Still forgive people that treated me badly...
I answered because i wish that they will realised
what is True Friend and what is not...


But somehow...
they will still go back to their BXX-chy friend...
i just don't understand...
Why want to be so desperate??
For fame??For what??
I have no idea..
until now...i still don't find that if they are close
with one another like my friend and i...so sad rite??
knowing a person for few years...
but still like strangers...or maybe
they will only come and find you
when they need a favour from you....
(She is just using you only)-This happened to me many times...
Believe me...It's not nice...


I hate those kind of people...
When i know any of these kind of person....
I rather not to continue being friend with him or her anymore...
because i know that that person suck....etc...aderlah...
Orang yang saya takkan maafkan dan
orang yang saya tak akan bercakap dengan
walaupun sehingga pada hari saya mati....
Let me tell you...You are useless...and hopelesss...
and best of all...you sucks...
"I will never let you to be in my life ever again
to have the chance to hurt me or ever use me again..."
This is what i promised myself...
and i will always keep this to myself until the day i die...
because i hate of being use and being hurt...
Somehow...I'm afraid if i already have a new phobia...
That is afraid of getting friends...=T
Don't ever dream that i will forgive you or talk to you anymore...
Because you cause me to have nightmares...
and i hate you...


To those who are blur and don't really know me...
This is what i want to tell to some people out there
who used me and turned their back on me...
Don't think too much...
You are not the one that i'm mentioning...
Well...i'm just so frustrated....
Writing all these on blog just for me to express my feelings....
Nothing else...No offence...

If you really do read my blog from the begginning...
I guess you should realise that i'm kind of negative....
or you can also say that i'm a quite pessimist kind of person...
I can't help it...I just can't...
I was betrayed, being used and being stabbed...
Those incidents really left deep and ugly scars on me....
Need time to slowly recover....



-sTuPiD-
eMo-Mo0Dy

A Walk To Remember...

A Walk To Remember

Only Hope

Actually...I watched this movie about 4 years ago....

This movie was introduced by a special friend to me

back in 4years ago...

I guess this movie really touches my heart

because the story is about watching the love ones dying of leuchemia...

It was almost the same as "One Litres Of Tears"....

Both men have to face the pain of losing the one they love...

seeing them slowly dying....

Slowly losing their love ones day by day...

In reality...such cases happen too....

but if this happens to me...

I will choose to keep it to myself...

because I don't want my love ones to know

and suffer knowing that they are losing me slowly

day by day...

That is so cruel to them...

because if i am at their shoes...

I will feel useless...

and will suffer knowing

that I'm slowly losing him or her...

Love is always patient and kind...

It is NEVER jealous...

Love is not boastful or concieted...

It is never rude or selfish...

It does not take offense...

It is not restful...

"Appreciate the one you love when you still have the chance...

Don't regret when it is too late..."

Last episode...

The very final thing i remember
that he said to me was...
"If u still message me...Then u know lar..."
I was so....i don't know how to
express my feelings in words...
It was like more than 10 Samurai was
stabbed into my heart...
Is that him??Is that really the him that
I've been loving for all these years??
I feel so meaningless loving him unconditionally...
I feel so breathless...after listening to those heart-breaking words...
I don't know what to do...
I don't know what reaction to give...
Should I cry??I have no tears...
I was going to faint...but i can't...
I can't be weak in front of him...
I don't want to beg him to be with me...
I don't want his sympathy...
And I guess there it comes the end of
our almost 6 years of feelings
and there it goes my Only Hope...

After he has talked so clearly to Shik Mei...
Shik Mei then live her life like a living zombie...
but luckily she still has her friends with her...
They always support her...
And there she goes...now...she can stand on her own again...

Though her smiles are not real from her heart as before...
Though she's not as strong as before...
Though she's not as happy as before...
Though she's not as confident as before...
Though she has phobia in trusting guys and

always doubt their abilities...

She still moves on....

For her...in her heart...
her Darling has died
back in a few years ago in 2006...
and the person that she meet almost everyday
is just somebody who looks alike like her Darling...



The End...