LoNeLiNesss...

Thinking of future...

What i want to become??

What i want to have??

What i want to believe??

and who i will be with??

The answers are leading me more and more...

nearer and nearer...

closer and even closer....

to myself...

What i want to become??

I already have the answer...

It's in me...

my personalities...

shows me...of what i am capable of...

what i can do...

and what i can't do...

my limitations...

and i don't stop myself working....

to get more and more of what i want...

and to know more and more of what i want....

and to think of more and more of it....

What i want to have??

and what i want to believe??

I already have the answers...

Just finding for more evidence to proove myself

that what i want to have and what i want to believe

worth my efforts....

worth my time...

and worth my sacrifises....

but just somehow...

someone...will always turn their back on me....

and break my believe and faith into small pieces...

and again...

i have to pick them up one by one small piece...

and to put them back again...

so many time wasted...

and it will happen again, again and again...

With who i will be with??

Everyone is asking me this...

BUT

it's no longer important...

it's impossible to have my faith...

it's impossible to have my 100%...

it's impossible...

-FRIENDSHIP-

i'm still awaiting for more and more...friends

i'm still building stronger and stronger...bonds

i'm still keeping aLL of you...with me

don't leave me behind...

because no one should be left behind...

~sTuPiD~

FeeLing The LoNeLiNess

Mid-Year...T.T

It's coming....
It's next week....
Mid-year exam is around the corner....
For those clever freaks...
They will say that they don't care bout it...
Why?Becoz it's just an exam....
It's not the real test...

Oh Me Gosh....
Are they sure??
Well...they r just being sarcastic...
bcoz their results....always very consistent...
always will be one of the top....
I feel that no matter what exam or test it is...
We should try our very best to score...
Why would i said so??
Bcoz if we can score those questions...
means we have good basic knowledge about that subject...
It's important to have good basics...
but i don't have...Pathetic....Sigh

Lately...Very hectic...Time xtremely pack...
Add on with the 4pm school ending time...
Oh Me Gosh...I need to breath...
I have no time for my hamsters...
I have no time for Taekwondo...
I have no time for things i like
and whatever that i've planned to do...
study etc..Many people around scolded me...
erm...advice me i mean....
Well...i have to admit that they do care about me...
I know it's for my own good...
I wish I could....I wish i could study...
but i'm stuck...besides tired...
I can't remember anything that I've read....
Frustrated....Tired...Disappointed....
Wad else can I feel??

I won't be as lucky as before forever....


Afraid if i will fail my Accounts again...
If I fail this time...
I really afraid that i will give up on Accounts dy...
Afraid....but i don't want to give up...
I want to do better...but
I don't think i can...
i won't be as lucky as before...
I will figure it out then...
there must be a way...
there must be a solution...
there must be something that I can do...



-sTuPiD-
.....hoping....

False Alarm....

How Beautiful Dreams Are...

I think it's time already...

i really needed to rest...

This false alarm really helped me...

by waking me up

from falling into deeper dreams....

Dreams are beautiful....

They are perfect....

They are somehow nice...

but it's very ironically...from reality...

Dreams...

to me...

they are fake hope...

Somehow...hurtful...yet fantastic...

In dreams...

I have what i want...

In dreams...

I get what I wish...

In realities...

Dreams are not real...

They are just some

sort of whatever dreams

that u can call it a motivation...

Motivation to make ur dreams become real....in real world...

No matter what...

Do not let yourself being carried too much by your dreams...

or else u will be living in your own dream world....

instead of facing the cruel yet real world...the realities...

Here I am...awake from dreams...

Facing the cruel world...

cruel realities...

Trying my best to make my dreams real in real world...realities...

-sTuPiD-

Stop...

I think it's time...

It's time to put the word "stop" in my dictionary...

This "stop" will be use for something

that might cause me of losing myself again...

So...Let's call a "stop" now

before i'm really into that something...

Happy of being who I am...

A proactive or whatsoever

u can also call me a person who takes initiatives...

Likes people of the same type as i am...

will grab chance when it's there...

and will find for chance...

instead of waiting....

Maybe it's not the right thing...

Maybe it's not the right time...

and maybe it's not the suitable condition...

Don't want to force unnecessary things to happen...

So...just friend...Unless it is really the right time...

Focus...

That is what i need the most...for now...

About other stuff...

No one should interfere or help...

It will only make things worse...

I like being just friend....bcoz

I need friend more than anything else...

^-^

-sTuPiD-

Me...

ME...

in restaurant...

in car...

in room...

in class...(not my classroom)


in nature...^-^
Love Green Earth...
It's ought to protect Earth!!



at the beach...


Long time didn't syok sendiri dy...
Really wanna syok sendiri syok syok with Best Friends one day...
One day..
^-^

Ps: Best Friends: Remember the "One Day" that i've been waiting for??

That "One Day" finally...Finally arrived...

I have finally free myself from that 'nightmare'...

Thanks guys...Hugs...

Love you all so so much...^-^

- sTuPiD -

Can't sLeep...

Don't know what happened to me...
I've been rolling on my bed since 11.40 pm...
I wanted to sLeep...but...
I just can't sLeep...
Restless....
Tired...


Wish I can sLeep like a baby now...


-sTuPiD-

Time to decide....

...have BiG DreaMs...
want them to be ReaL...
NoThing is ImPossibLe...
I won't give up...
If i give up now...
All my hard work...
Alll my efforts...
All my energy...
All my time...
and all that i've done...
will be wasted...
After so much....
so much that i've been through....
I won't give up...

...have BiG DreaMs...
want them to be Real...
NoThing is ImPossibLe...
It's time for me to decide my own future...


-sTuPiD-