Friendship...

This accident gave me nightmares for the rest of my life...

A friend of mine asked me this question...
"Do you think that friendship is fragile?"

My answer is "Yes, friendship is fragile"...
Why would i said so??
It's simple...
because i've gain a lot of experience...
A lot of so called "Friends" of mine turned their back on me...
They are no longer in my life anymore...
but what happened last time is that
when they don't need me...they will just act like
they didn't saw me even when walking pass beside me...
but when they need somebody...
they will realise that i'm the only one who is there for them...
because their so called "Friends" dumped them and back stabbed them...
Isn't this funny??

Some of my friends asked me...
Why am I so good?....Still forgive people that treated me badly...
I answered because i wish that they will realised
what is True Friend and what is not...


But somehow...
they will still go back to their BXX-chy friend...
i just don't understand...
Why want to be so desperate??
For fame??For what??
I have no idea..
until now...i still don't find that if they are close
with one another like my friend and i...so sad rite??
knowing a person for few years...
but still like strangers...or maybe
they will only come and find you
when they need a favour from you....
(She is just using you only)-This happened to me many times...
Believe me...It's not nice...


I hate those kind of people...
When i know any of these kind of person....
I rather not to continue being friend with him or her anymore...
because i know that that person suck....etc...aderlah...
Orang yang saya takkan maafkan dan
orang yang saya tak akan bercakap dengan
walaupun sehingga pada hari saya mati....
Let me tell you...You are useless...and hopelesss...
and best of all...you sucks...
"I will never let you to be in my life ever again
to have the chance to hurt me or ever use me again..."
This is what i promised myself...
and i will always keep this to myself until the day i die...
because i hate of being use and being hurt...
Somehow...I'm afraid if i already have a new phobia...
That is afraid of getting friends...=T
Don't ever dream that i will forgive you or talk to you anymore...
Because you cause me to have nightmares...
and i hate you...


To those who are blur and don't really know me...
This is what i want to tell to some people out there
who used me and turned their back on me...
Don't think too much...
You are not the one that i'm mentioning...
Well...i'm just so frustrated....
Writing all these on blog just for me to express my feelings....
Nothing else...No offence...

If you really do read my blog from the begginning...
I guess you should realise that i'm kind of negative....
or you can also say that i'm a quite pessimist kind of person...
I can't help it...I just can't...
I was betrayed, being used and being stabbed...
Those incidents really left deep and ugly scars on me....
Need time to slowly recover....



-sTuPiD-
eMo-Mo0Dy

A Walk To Remember...

A Walk To Remember

Only Hope

Actually...I watched this movie about 4 years ago....

This movie was introduced by a special friend to me

back in 4years ago...

I guess this movie really touches my heart

because the story is about watching the love ones dying of leuchemia...

It was almost the same as "One Litres Of Tears"....

Both men have to face the pain of losing the one they love...

seeing them slowly dying....

Slowly losing their love ones day by day...

In reality...such cases happen too....

but if this happens to me...

I will choose to keep it to myself...

because I don't want my love ones to know

and suffer knowing that they are losing me slowly

day by day...

That is so cruel to them...

because if i am at their shoes...

I will feel useless...

and will suffer knowing

that I'm slowly losing him or her...

Love is always patient and kind...

It is NEVER jealous...

Love is not boastful or concieted...

It is never rude or selfish...

It does not take offense...

It is not restful...

"Appreciate the one you love when you still have the chance...

Don't regret when it is too late..."

Last episode...

The very final thing i remember
that he said to me was...
"If u still message me...Then u know lar..."
I was so....i don't know how to
express my feelings in words...
It was like more than 10 Samurai was
stabbed into my heart...
Is that him??Is that really the him that
I've been loving for all these years??
I feel so meaningless loving him unconditionally...
I feel so breathless...after listening to those heart-breaking words...
I don't know what to do...
I don't know what reaction to give...
Should I cry??I have no tears...
I was going to faint...but i can't...
I can't be weak in front of him...
I don't want to beg him to be with me...
I don't want his sympathy...
And I guess there it comes the end of
our almost 6 years of feelings
and there it goes my Only Hope...

After he has talked so clearly to Shik Mei...
Shik Mei then live her life like a living zombie...
but luckily she still has her friends with her...
They always support her...
And there she goes...now...she can stand on her own again...

Though her smiles are not real from her heart as before...
Though she's not as strong as before...
Though she's not as happy as before...
Though she's not as confident as before...
Though she has phobia in trusting guys and

always doubt their abilities...

She still moves on....

For her...in her heart...
her Darling has died
back in a few years ago in 2006...
and the person that she meet almost everyday
is just somebody who looks alike like her Darling...



The End...

Nocturnes...

A song named "Nocturnes"...
Lyrics written by Fang Wen Shan...

and the music is written and is sang by "Jay Chou"...

This song is about how he actually misses his dead girl friend...

Well...based from what I understand on the lyrics and mtv...=)

For me...singing this song

reminds me of a person who was very close to me...

yet already changed...

Can said that it's the same like

that person already leave me

to a place that is very far away from me...

I can never talk or hear him anymore...

I will never, in my life see him smile again

like how he used to smile to me...

The image of him smiling to me

will still appear in my mind

when i didn't realised that i was actually thinking of him...=T

....and i already burried him in me...my heart...

He will stay in me as one part of me forever...

Hmm...well I think that it's a good thing to have idol...hehe...

We should encourage young people to have idol...

so that they will have hope...just like me...hehe

Listening to 'his' songs is just the same like

listening to what i want to say...

All 'his' songs...

Brings me back to life...

I was once a 'dead' human...

erm...u can also said that i was once a 'living zombie'...hehe

I think that 'he' should be called as the second music genius...haha...

'He' has created so many differnet kind of songs...

'His' songs and musics are supreme...

i'm really deeply in love with them....hehe

If u want to know what I mean...just click here for

nocturnes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn9GT-3-I1M&feature=related

jay chou playing piano with yu hao:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhXNMcl9Et0

and you will understand why i like 'him' so so much....^-^

"Episode One"

Haha...
I still remember on the other day...
a friend of mine asked me to write a story about my love life...
I was thinking very hard to think of what i want to write...
but nothing nice appears on my mind...
Those that were on my mind was mostly
of sadness, loneliness and crying moments...

As time passed...
I keep trying to remember those nice and happy moments
that i used to spent when i'm not alone...

Finally...I realised that those were the past...
It's normal that i couldn't remember everything that already passed...
No matter wad.. I will still complete this story of my life...
as I've promised you...hehe
Erm....I can't finish telling this story at once...
but I will create episodes from it...=)

So here it is "Episode One"....


EPISODE ONE

Think back of it...like it just happened yesterday...^-^
Still remember when i received letter from teacher to inform
that SABS will be my secondary school a few days before primary school ended...
I was so proud of myself when i received that letter and knowing that
there's only a few of us from Methodist Girl Primary School
who made it into that school makes me feel sad...
One of happiness and one of sadness...
I tried my best to take and keep as many pictures
as i can with my closest friends...
On the last day of primary school...
I remember hugging a few of my class mates before leaving school with tears and
hope that we will meet again...

Preparation for secondary school...^-^
This is the best part...
SHOPPING...
...but....my family financial condition is not good...
We need to spend every penny we have very carefully....
but everything that is needed were bought...=)
Appreciate what we have...^-^
Appreciate every single little thing that our parents try to give us and gave us...
Appreciate when we still have the chance... or else it would be too late when you realised this when they're gone...
That's all for now...the end of Episode One...

Episode Two...will be coming very soon....^-^

What will I become Without You??

A few of my friends asked me this...
"Have you ever regret that you ever _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ?"
My answer is "No, I never regret."=)
Why I never regret??
Because of those experience....
Those moments when i needed somebody but no one is there for me...
Those are of those that make me become stronger...
At least i'm not as "tofu" as Form 1...hehe


I really appreciate every single thing that is given to me and all those precious moments that i can keep until the end of my life make me realised that we need to grab the chance when we have the chance or else the chance will disappear...


Besides, i oso realised that true friends are hard to get and
only a few person in your life will be your true friend until
the end of your life...

Conclusion...
Realised that difficulties and problems can make us become stronger...
Realised that chance are yours to get them when they are around and
not to find them when they're gone...
Realised that those people who is always try to be around with you
when you are lonely, sad and happy is true friends that you will never get elsewhere...


_sTuPiD_

EARTH HOUR

EARTH HOUR

I will switch off my lights...Will u switch off your lights??

^-^

I'm willing to do anything...

To make Earth a better place...

and this is so easy...

I just need to switch off the lights only..haha